When you start to wonder who will read your blog, how they will critique your thoughts and your grammar, and how they will forever think of you from that one blog post. Welcome to insecurity--when we are so consumed with how we are being perceived to the point that it actually affects the way we live. What a silly way to live! The more I beg to be good soil for the Kingdom of God, the more I realize I am the seed among the thorns. Where the seed falls, and the worries of this world and insecurity choke the life out of it. But if you could only have seen my heart a year ago, six months ago, or last week. The chains are loosening and the thorns are less and less...I am starting to taste freedom more and more deeply! Even as this post progressed, I tasted a little more freedom. Just a little more...but that is what we celebrate. Moving one step closer, day by day, moment by moment. I picture a small dance party in heaven celebrating the freedom I'm learning right now! The freedom of just being who we were created to be--just me and just you. There will be a day when insecurity will not rule in my life. Until then, I think the Lord is going to use this blog to reveal just how deep insecurity runs in my heart so He can chisel it out and refine me.
I thought this blog was to get my ideas out and process my thoughts better, but I think it's going to be something even bigger than that. I think it's going to be a daily/weekly challenge to examine my heart about what is driving me to post what I want to post. It's going to be a consistent eye-opener to the thorns in my heart that He is so desperate to weed out!
